Update from Will
I am going on a bit of vacation so I am going to be offline for a bit…Mary Joy will probably be giving some updates of our fun so stay tuned…if you want to hear more of my adventures….feel free to follow me on my twitter page.
On Service
One reason many people never serve is that they fear they are not good enough to
serve. They have believed the lie that serving God is only for superstars. Some
churches have fostered this myth by making "excellence" an idol, which makes
people of average talent hesitant to get involved. (Rick Warren)
You Are Not Alone…We Are In This Together!
This has been an incredibly difficult week for me. We are having a very difficult time with J. these days. I have been struggling with getting an accurate psychiatric diagnosis for him since I moved to this small town in August 2008. He has so much going on inside of his head. He has been through so much in his short life. Last January he was finally diagnosed with ADHD. He was immediately put on Adder all. The diagnosis, while a step in the right direction, didn’t include anything about all of the trauma he has experienced or other major symptoms that he has that could possibly be a form of autism. So needless to say over the last many months the difficult times have increased. He has become more frequently violent toward me and he struggles so much with thinking he should be in control at home. Makes for some interesting evenings I will admit. The thing is, I love my son so much! Will has made things so much easier for me to live through the violent cycles…teaching me how to restrain him to keep him, me and M. the 18 month old in the house safe when he gets that way. Hearing about the times of violence has been extremely hard for Will. It really upsets him to hear that J. has been hurting me. And on top of it, I bring him to his psychiatrist appointments and counselor appointments and all they said is that I need to be stricter that I must be too soft of a parent. This has been extremely frustrating for me and infuriating for him. We both know that I am not a “soft” parent. I and now we have tried everything we can think of to help him and stop this kind of behavior. Most guys would say…Mary after living through all of this with you for the last six and its just more than I can deal with right now….but not Will.
Will said to me just this morning. You are not in this alone. I love you and we will do whatever we need to do to get the best care and help for J. I need you to promise me you won’t let him hurt you. But he understands that there is a lot of pain, confusion and something else going on in that little boy. He has fallen in love as a father loves a son. And he wants the best for him. Wow! (tears) We are both committed to get the help he needs. We are taking him to a new doctor on Monday in a town that is 100 miles away.
Will arrives here at our house tomorrow afternoon and, as he tells me, we will work through this together! I want you to know that I am in awe of the man that Will is. As he says to me…”I don’t give up! I am in love with you Mary and I love J. and M. too!” This week during some very difficult moments with J. Will has reminded me that he isn’t going anywhere…he isn’t scared off and isn’t going to back off of being in our lives. Now that is a real man!!! He prays for J. on his own everyday as well as with me when we lift up all of our kids. He has been doing so much research on what the problem might be and what our options are to get him the help he needs. I am so grateful and relieved to have him at my side during these painful times. He doesn’t think what he is doing is a big deal. He said he wouldn’t do any less for his daughter and he loves J. so why shouldn’t he do all he can to help.
I just got off of the phone with him and he reminded me that he is so proud of me and the battle that I have been fighting to get J. the services he needs, the treatment he needs, the help he needs. He wants me to know that I am not alone anymore in the fight to get him help. When he told me he loves me and loves the boys he meant in the hard times too. So as we face difficult times over Thanksgiving even…Will has planned wonderful times to fit in between doctor’s visits.
We are so excited about his arriving here tomorrow afternoon and the very special time we will have together…at our house here setting up the Christmas tree together this weekend…even though it means that he spends the weekend sleeping on a very uncomfortable couch…He is 6′4″ tall. Getting up before the crack of dawn on Monday to drive out of town to the new doctor’s office. Spending Monday morning at doctor’s appointments. Possibly stopping at the state capital on our way to his town…giving the boys their first tour of Missouri’s state capital building (weather permitting), then driving the rest of the way to his house for a couple of days. Shhhh! Don’t tell him, but we are planning on getting out of his hair for a while on Tuesday so that he gets to write for a while before we set off to his parents house for an old fashioned diabetic friendly Thanksgiving. We’ll spend the weekend with his parents and brother’s family. We’ll even get in some last minute Christmas shopping and a trip to Springfield to take his mom to the doctor there before making the five hour trip back to my house in time to get J. ready to go back to school.
Funny thing is….even though these months have been extremely exhausting as I deal with all of the challenges with J. and chasing an ever growing toddler who won’t slow down for anything (wasn’t he just a baby?)….I have never been more at peace or happier in my life!!! I have my best friend, the love of my life at my side!!
We are asking for prayer partners as we face the challenges with J. and seeing doctors and get evaluations done. We are praying hard and have gotten our prayer warrior friends and family members to pray. Will you join us? We will keep you posted on the progress of this challenging journey. And as you might guess…this Thankgiving…I am thankful for Will Pershing…my best friend, my boyfriend, a real man of God who knows what love means…being at my side through this rough patch in life’s journey.
